Letters from a Learning Mother

There Will Be Days

To the Momma with a miracle inside:

You’re probably trying to piece together the images of motherhood you have in your mind, wondering what the empty canvas of your upcoming season will look like once the colors of the life you’re currently carrying splash onto it.

Maybe you picture yourself sitting in your favorite chair in a room decorated tastefully in soft, calming hues, humming quietly as you gently rock back and forth with your sweet, sleeping baby cradled peacefully in your arms.

There will be days when that dream will be your reality, and you might feel the urge to pinch yourself every now and then.

Perhaps your imagination consists of visions a bit more messy, though. Maybe you can see yourself unshowered, not quite rocking a messy mom-bun, wearing the same shirt for the third day in a row because you wouldn’t want to dirty a new one with the spit up your babe screaming with a tummy ache is bound to project onto it over the course of the day.

Momma, I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but this reality will also soon be one that you’ll call your own.

There will be nights when your ears are still ringing with your baby’s cries as your head hits the pillow. Yet, other nights it will be your little one’s laugh still echoing in your mind as you climb into bed with a thankful smile.

There will be days when early morning wake-up calls rouse you from your sleep and immediately fill your heart with joy in knowing that another day with your little love is about to begin. Other days, you will keep your eyes closed for as long as possible, hoping you might convince your baby to allow the night to continue for a bit longer so you can add to the few hours of sleep you managed to squeeze in between screams and feeds.

There will be days when you ponder the fact that you have never felt more fulfilled, trying to remember what made you feel full of purpose before your baby arrived. Other days, you will think to yourself, “I have never felt so drained,” and count the hours until Daddy gets home.

There will be days when you feel completely overwhelmed, surrounded by piles of dirty dishes and laundry and all sorts of baby items that have yet to find their place in your snug, little home. Other days, tunnel vision for a tiny human will consume you and your heart will threaten to burst with love as you think to yourself, “There’s no place in the world I would rather be.”

There will be days when you feel as if you are living from nap to nap. Other days, you will chuckle as you find yourself missing your baby as he sleeps.

There will be days when you walk past a mirror and laugh at the ridiculous sight staring back at you, wondering why nobody told you that your baby’s source of nourishment would end up so lopsided at times or that the skin under your eyes would seem to permanently darken a shade or two. Other times, those new Momma muscles or the genuine smile of the one with a happy baby on her hip might catch your eye. “She did that,” you might think to yourself, shifting your proud gaze between the two images in the mirror, reveling in the beautiful strength you possess.

There will be days when you spend hours laughing with your giggly babe, wondering if you’ve ever had so much fun in your entire life. You might take short trips to nearby coffee shops and feel prouder than ever as friendly strangers nod and smile in the direction of your adorable little attention-grabber. Other times, you will wish you could have the carefree kind of good time other women your age are having or that you didn’t have to sip your cappuccino at the pace you do when you know that your baby will soon begin to grow impatient.

There will be days when you find yourself so deep in the trenches of motherhood that you have no idea what day it is or if any significant events have been broadcasted on the news in recent days, weeks or even months. Other times, you will feel nothing but bliss to be spending your days in the land of the one who deems you the most important person in the world.

There will be evenings when you can hear the hallelujah chorus in the back of your mind as your baby begins to show signs of being ready to call it a night. Other times, your heart might ache as yet another wonderful day with your growing child comes to a close.

Sometimes, you will find comfort in the fact that these days are fleeting. Other times, it will nearly break your heart to know that this season will not last forever.

There will be days that are better than others, but there will never be a day on which you would go back to life before motherhood if you were given the chance. And I am sure that every seasoned mother looks back fondly on this beautiful season, for although it may seem that these days are many, they are certainly not endless.

2 thoughts on “There Will Be Days

  1. Oh wie kostbar Alyssa! Danke! Du sprichst mir aus dem Herzen und hilfst mir den Blick wieder aufzurichten und nicht den Momentaufnahmen entmutigt zu sein. Was für eine begabte Schriftstellerin und Mama!

    1. Liebe Vianne, was für ein Kompliment! Deine Worte berühren mich total. Du bist eine Heldinmama und es ist mir ein Vorrecht, dich zu kennen!

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